Migraines often leave me feeling weak and pathetic; I am a victim of my own body, always in pain. I have spent the night at the Emergency Room because of my Migraines, I am on Federal Disability because of my Migraines, and I have had to cancel many many plans because of my Migraines. The self-loathing I experience on a daily basis is intense and never ending.
But recently I realised that I am much stronger than I give myself credit for.
I broke my foot a few weeks ago. It had fallen asleep and I was determined to walk on it; I fell on top of it and broke a small bone. Of course, because it was a small fracture I did not know for sure that it was broken – it was swollen and bruised, but the stereotypical protruding bone was missing. Amazingly, I was still determined to walk on it; after all, I had shopping to do. And walk on it I did, albeit with a limp. It was not until the next day that I decided to get an X-ray, which showed the fracture.
This was not my first broken bone, and it was not my first time ignoring a broken bone. Fifteen years ago I broke my wrist rollerblading and ignored the break for a few days, only getting it checked after I fell on it again. Just like my foot, my wrist hurt, but I could move it, and so I assumed that it was just a bad sprain.
This latest break had me re-thinking my feelings of patheticness – why does a headache immobilize me, yet I can walk on a broken foot or write with a broken wrist?
The answer is simple – I do not just get headaches, I get Migraines. Migraines that hurt so much that all other pain is miniscule, including broken bones. Many reports even have women claiming that Migraines are worse than childbirth; while I have not experienced childbirth myself, I do not doubt it.
Migraines wreak havoc on a body, and cause an immense amount of pain; more pain than I have experienced from anything else.
And yet, I survive.
And if I can survive a 10 day Migraine with peaks of Level 10 pain, I can survive anything.